Vir Veter
He, Vir Veter, the greatest man to ever live on God's green earth, sat in his super luxurious comfort chair, reading the newspaper when the knock came. Vir Veter was simply the greatest person alive, and being such, he got up out of his chair and answered the door.
It was a woman. A woman he knew. One quick look at her and he took off. Out the back. Gone like the wind. If he was lucky, she never noticed his shadow as he checked through the peephole of the door. Despite his greatness he was, in fact and fiction, unlucky. She caught him coming out the back door and bowled him over as she leapt onto him.
The pair tumbled backwards into the house, knocking over a vase or two. Definitely two. The vases tumbled to the floor and broke with a CRACK. The woman had him pinned.
"So I caught you trying to sneak away," She began, "and I thought to myself why one such as yourself might be avoiding someone like me…?" She gave him a stare that told him that no matter what he said, he was without doubt guilt.
"Now don't do anything rash Yvette. I was just coming outside for a glass of wine." He managed to add "So what brings you to my humble estate?" before she kneed him in the side.
"Humble estate? You live in a mansion that makes the pyramids look like the ghetto." She scolded him and kneed him again in the rib, "And I, Vir Veter, am here because for three whole weeks you have failed to return any of my calls."
It was true, he had neglected to return her calls, but for good reason. She was needy, self-righteous, egotistical, petty, vain, violent, greedy, and those were just a few of her nicer qualities in his opinion, and he was about to tell her so when she smacked him, hard, on his left cheek.
"Ouch. Now what was that for?"
"You've been cheating on me haven't you?"
It was a well known fact to her, and everyone else who paid attention to him that he was not. But the woman was the suspicious and paranoid type. They weren't even dating. He had met her at a gathering in Washington D.C., his hometown, and where he currently lived. He and Yvette had talked for an hour and ever since, he couldn't seem to get rid of her.
"Now you know for a fact that we are not dating, so even if I had been with another woman, which I haven't, then it shouldn't matter to you."
Finally she seemed satisfied with his answer, though her face scrunched up into a pout, but she got off of him and brushed off the front of her dress, which was red since at the time, and forever after, it was decidedly the best color ever. She began to speak, her tone full of authority over him, "So Mr. President, what are your plans for tomorrow around seven o'clock?"
Vir Veter got up from the ground and brushed his hands over the front of his suit and told her exactly what he was going to do at seven o'clock.
"I plan to be busy, managing the United States of America tomorrow. Especially around the time that you might suggest dinner."
She gave him a look of suspicion that told him she didn't believe a word of it.
"You know, I wouldn't be able to pester you so if you still had the secret service. I heard they were quite effective back in their day."
Vir Veter responded in his usual way to the inquiry, "They were, but with the development of the U.P.A.M., the need for the secret service is next to nothing."
As if to affirm his response, an alarm went off and all the lights of the President's house turned red and began to blink. Vir Veter pulled a control out of his front suit pocket and pressed a series of numbers and letters into it. Outside, the ground split open and from it raised a giant metal robot.
Vir Veter ran. He reached the robot and, pressing a few more buttons on his control, a cockpit opened up inside the machine. In moments, he had disappeared into the night, giant robot and all, leaving the woman behind.
The cause of the alarm was no less then a behemoth of a monstrosity destroying Washington D.C.
A monster that stood twice as tall as the U.P.A.M., which was slightly taller than a three story house, was wreaking havoc. The beast had two heads, a scaled body, four arms, and slithered on the ground on a massive tail. It glowed with radiation as it destroyed a picket fence. It utterly destroyed it. It was horrible. Picket fence was everywhere, splintered into a thousand pieces by a single swipe of the tail. The family living in the house could do nothing but stare in awe at the carnage.
Jet boosters flared as Vir Veter and his U.P.A.M. flew forward, directly into the side of the serpent-beast. Metal and claws met as the monster retaliated, tearing into the left arm of the U.P.A.M.
Vir Veter responded by opening the missile pods on the right arm directly into one of the mouths of the behemoth, blowing it to pieces of brain and gore. The pieces of scale rained down on some of the masses gathering at the site, searing hot. The spectators ran in fear as burning remains of the left head of the creature splattered on them, trampling women and children in their wake. Charred and trampled bodies began to litter the streets as the two goliaths fought each other for supremacy.
The tail of the serpent whipped into the side of the cockpit. Reinforced glass colliding with pure power broke on the impact, imploding into Vir Veter. Splinters of glass rained on him and in an instant he was blinded in blood and pain as a piece of the glass impaled his right eye and his left was covered in the blood from a ricocheting piece that slid right across his forehead.
Fighting down the pain, he reached for his controls and hit the boosters. His U.P.A.M. shot off, bearing the beast with it into a nearby house. Several people had taken shelter in the house as the roof collapsed on them, killing the children instantly while the rest of the refugees met more painful and slow deaths.
Back and forth the fight tilted. Blows were exchanged and much was destroyed. In the climax of the conflict, Vir Veter cut a path to the beast's stomach, pulling apart its skin like paper, and sliced up to its three hearts. He pinned the beast to the ground and one by one, plucked the hearts out of the serpent before crushing them with his mechanical fists.
As the beast died, it exploded in a loud boom that rocked the city. The remains of the U.P.A.M. were never found, but the few surviving spectators believed they saw a shadowy figure limp away from the battle
